ATT 2018 ROUND 2: Writer 15 vs Writer 7 [Writer 7 wins via no-show]

[NOBLE]

Writer 15 vs. Writer 7

Rules
Verses are due by Sunday, February 25th at 11:59 PM Eastern (GMT-5).
Verses must be sent to NOBLE via Private Message.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 20-30 lines long.
Voting is 3-0 KO or First to 5.
Writer numbers will be changed every round.
Check your PM to find out which number you are for the round.

Topic

[NOBLE]

Writer 15 vs. Writer 7

Rules
Verses are due by Sunday, February 25th at 11:59 PM Eastern (GMT-5).
Verses must be sent to NOBLE via Private Message.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 20-30 lines long.
Voting is 3-0 KO or First to 5.
Writer numbers will be changed every round.
Check your PM to find out which number you are for the round.

Topic

[NOBLE]

Writer 7

My Eyes in the Time of Apparition

Past

Science. A good thing we had going… until the money was in it
Now the keys to life and death are stored in government systems
Molten salt reactors: The construction is simple
They could power every nation, end the hunger of children
Yet people merely see Chernobyl and its ugly depictions
It proves that humans are in no place to be fucking with physics
Soon enough you stupid cunts will make destructive conditions
The mushrooms growing in my eyes at last will come to fruition
The revelation of our evils and our utter malignance
The seven thunders’ crackling brings our judgment within it
We hate each other. On rare occasions, we make a pass at imitating love.
That’s human nature. The meek inherit nothing and the killers stay above.
Give us an inch, we take a mile. Give us an atom, we make fifty megatons.
Our range of sight will fade to white. It in an instant blankets us.
Now our greatest flames of genius form an innovated sun.
We have become Death, Destroyer of Worlds.

Present

A massive weapons arsenal was trusted to a narcissist
We’re sorry that we did it so fuck all of his apologists
He loosed his deadly atom bombs, exchanged them with the communists
I wonder if he chuckled as he started the apocalypse
An attack on North Korea sparked the rage of China
An exchange of words became an exchange of fire
First pistol fire - then it descended in a raging spiral
And that was it.

Future

There’s nothing left. Just the corpse of raw destruction.
I guess it proves my point: We all saw it coming.

[NOBLE]

Writer 7

My Eyes in the Time of Apparition

Past

Science. A good thing we had going… until the money was in it
Now the keys to life and death are stored in government systems
Molten salt reactors: The construction is simple
They could power every nation, end the hunger of children
Yet people merely see Chernobyl and its ugly depictions
It proves that humans are in no place to be fucking with physics
Soon enough you stupid cunts will make destructive conditions
The mushrooms growing in my eyes at last will come to fruition
The revelation of our evils and our utter malignance
The seven thunders’ crackling brings our judgment within it
We hate each other. On rare occasions, we make a pass at imitating love.
That’s human nature. The meek inherit nothing and the killers stay above.
Give us an inch, we take a mile. Give us an atom, we make fifty megatons.
Our range of sight will fade to white. It in an instant blankets us.
Now our greatest flames of genius form an innovated sun.
We have become Death, Destroyer of Worlds.

Present

A massive weapons arsenal was trusted to a narcissist
We’re sorry that we did it so fuck all of his apologists
He loosed his deadly atom bombs, exchanged them with the communists
I wonder if he chuckled as he started the apocalypse
An attack on North Korea sparked the rage of China
An exchange of words became an exchange of fire
First pistol fire - then it descended in a raging spiral
And that was it.

Future

There’s nothing left. Just the corpse of raw destruction.
I guess it proves my point: We all saw it coming.

[NOBLE]

Writer 15 did not submit an entry by the deadline and is thus disqualified. Writer 7 wins automatically. I'm leaving this as "open for votes" so he can receive feedback since he worked and put in some effort to craft this verse. So please leave feedback/critique. I will come back and drop my own soon.

[NOBLE]

Writer 15 did not submit an entry by the deadline and is thus disqualified. Writer 7 wins automatically. I'm leaving this as "open for votes" so he can receive feedback since he worked and put in some effort to craft this verse. So please leave feedback/critique. I will come back and drop my own soon.

[The Ghost of Freak]

I thought the formatting was interesting. I felt the past and present were a little less clear than the future section. There were a couple of lines with present tense in the past. I felt the sociopolitical commentary angle was fine, but maybe having more narrative would have enriched the sections. Possibly framing the commentary from the perspective of a character or multiple characters. Not too shabby. Keep up the good work.

[The Ghost of Freak]

I thought the formatting was interesting. I felt the past and present were a little less clear than the future section. There were a couple of lines with present tense in the past. I felt the sociopolitical commentary angle was fine, but maybe having more narrative would have enriched the sections. Possibly framing the commentary from the perspective of a character or multiple characters. Not too shabby. Keep up the good work.