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10-31-2013, 09:52 AM
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2013 GC: RD1 - MASTR Vs Punk - (Punk Wins 5-0)
MASTR Vs Punk
This topical is part of the 2013 Topical Grand Championship
Rules
Verses are due Thursday, November 7th.
Verses are to be posted in THIS thread.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 20-30 lines long.
Vote deductions will happen for people going over.
Voting is 3-0 KO, 3-1 TKO or first to 5.
Topic
Follow Your Heart
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10-31-2013, 09:52 AM
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#1
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2013 GC: RD1 - MASTR Vs Punk - (Punk Wins 5-0)
MASTR Vs Punk
This topical is part of the 2013 Topical Grand Championship
Rules
Verses are due Thursday, November 7th.
Verses are to be posted in THIS thread.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 20-30 lines long.
Vote deductions will happen for people going over.
Voting is 3-0 KO, 3-1 TKO or first to 5.
Topic
Follow Your Heart
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10-31-2013, 09:57 AM
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MASTR
Follow Your Heart
In these times a person sees in their lives uncertainty
A man stands in the crowd appears so nervous he
is shaking, he's conflicted, sees the drop zone he can't miss it
A blue garbage bin next to a bench with its lid shifted
He continues walking towards it he begins looking around
Sees a woman with her child who dropped his ice cream on the ground
Sees a small family and dog walking with smiles on their faces
a group of kids just out of school, now his heart is racing
He spots a parked van ahead, and another one next to it too
He knows that inside they're watching his every move
His orders are to throw the bag out and then walk away
Make his way to Second Avenue and collect on his pay
The bag had enough explosives to take out the block
He was offered 2 million dollars, now he checks out the clock
The time is coming up, he hears people laughing
His conscience screaming at him because he knows what will happen
Could he really end all these lives just to enhance his own
Families dying just so he can live in a fancy home
That's when this woman walks up and hands him a wallet
Says he dropped it on the bus, but didn't respond when she called him
It had been a 3 mile walk since he'd exited the bus
And the time spent delivering, he picks the bag next to him up
And takes off running, he knows the consequences
But it's the heart that responds the worst when it comes to offenses
He begins to hear the beeping from the bag in his hand
Tears running down his face he grips it as tight as he can
His heart had screamed warnings not to do this that morning
but he ignored it, his damn greed levels were soaring
His options were bland, so he stops there and stands
Clenches his eyes as he throws the bag on top of the van
Vs
Punk
Follow Your Heart
Dear Lisa,
How you been? been years since we talked and had a little fun
we was close, then you moved away to Cali in a rush
because your mom was very sick and they wasn't treating her then,
how about that riot that happened there was it intense?
Anyways, i really liked you but couldn't admit it at the time
i know you would've accepted me, you said my past was fine
I'm laughing while I'm writing this letter, cause your the kind
to keep the humor going, and not sending me back a bored reply
It's pouring though, you know when it rains, emotions start to show
that class book in 7th grade, i still remember the part you wrote
bout butterflies and rainbows, it's a shame though that you lost your touch
The talents you were blessed with, you tried and gave it all for what?
Drug habbits and drinking, oh please, what were you thinking
tell me when i come to visit over the weekend.
Remember when I'd crack that insider, bout different strokes
you'd be the only one in the room laughing cause the others didn't get the joke
yea, we had good times, and i hate to see you in this position
so I'd take it upon myself to come and visit you and help you out
get you back in school, cause you quit it why?
Always though i'd be that simple ignorant guy
but hey, see you when i get there, leaving here in a jam
lol, oh do i have so many plans...
-Love Jeff.
"Dear Jeff, I hope you get this in time, cause it's important
plus it's coming from an unknown address you might ignore it
so right now your probably on the road, driving to california
and this message came too late as i was try to warn ya
So Jeff, I can see the drama that this letter make
but if you were wondering...... Lisa is in a better place."
Last edited by Hubert Cumberdale; 10-31-2013 at 07:13 PM.
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10-31-2013, 09:57 AM
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#2
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MASTR
Follow Your Heart
In these times a person sees in their lives uncertainty
A man stands in the crowd appears so nervous he
is shaking, he's conflicted, sees the drop zone he can't miss it
A blue garbage bin next to a bench with its lid shifted
He continues walking towards it he begins looking around
Sees a woman with her child who dropped his ice cream on the ground
Sees a small family and dog walking with smiles on their faces
a group of kids just out of school, now his heart is racing
He spots a parked van ahead, and another one next to it too
He knows that inside they're watching his every move
His orders are to throw the bag out and then walk away
Make his way to Second Avenue and collect on his pay
The bag had enough explosives to take out the block
He was offered 2 million dollars, now he checks out the clock
The time is coming up, he hears people laughing
His conscience screaming at him because he knows what will happen
Could he really end all these lives just to enhance his own
Families dying just so he can live in a fancy home
That's when this woman walks up and hands him a wallet
Says he dropped it on the bus, but didn't respond when she called him
It had been a 3 mile walk since he'd exited the bus
And the time spent delivering, he picks the bag next to him up
And takes off running, he knows the consequences
But it's the heart that responds the worst when it comes to offenses
He begins to hear the beeping from the bag in his hand
Tears running down his face he grips it as tight as he can
His heart had screamed warnings not to do this that morning
but he ignored it, his damn greed levels were soaring
His options were bland, so he stops there and stands
Clenches his eyes as he throws the bag on top of the van
Vs
Punk
Follow Your Heart
Dear Lisa,
How you been? been years since we talked and had a little fun
we was close, then you moved away to Cali in a rush
because your mom was very sick and they wasn't treating her then,
how about that riot that happened there was it intense?
Anyways, i really liked you but couldn't admit it at the time
i know you would've accepted me, you said my past was fine
I'm laughing while I'm writing this letter, cause your the kind
to keep the humor going, and not sending me back a bored reply
It's pouring though, you know when it rains, emotions start to show
that class book in 7th grade, i still remember the part you wrote
bout butterflies and rainbows, it's a shame though that you lost your touch
The talents you were blessed with, you tried and gave it all for what?
Drug habbits and drinking, oh please, what were you thinking
tell me when i come to visit over the weekend.
Remember when I'd crack that insider, bout different strokes
you'd be the only one in the room laughing cause the others didn't get the joke
yea, we had good times, and i hate to see you in this position
so I'd take it upon myself to come and visit you and help you out
get you back in school, cause you quit it why?
Always though i'd be that simple ignorant guy
but hey, see you when i get there, leaving here in a jam
lol, oh do i have so many plans...
-Love Jeff.
"Dear Jeff, I hope you get this in time, cause it's important
plus it's coming from an unknown address you might ignore it
so right now your probably on the road, driving to california
and this message came too late as i was try to warn ya
So Jeff, I can see the drama that this letter make
but if you were wondering...... Lisa is in a better place."
Last edited by Hubert Cumberdale; 10-31-2013 at 07:13 PM.
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10-31-2013, 03:23 PM
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Thought my topic was "Follow Your Heart" Similar but mine has nothing to do with Dreams
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10-31-2013, 03:23 PM
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#3
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Thought my topic was "Follow Your Heart" Similar but mine has nothing to do with Dreams
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10-31-2013, 07:13 PM
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^It was, edited.
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10-31-2013, 07:13 PM
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#4
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^It was, edited.
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11-01-2013, 01:43 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 970
Mentioned: 419 Post(s)
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Ranked Text Record 88 Won / 58 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 2 Won / 0 Lost
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#DATENDING
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11-01-2013, 01:43 AM
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#5
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Ranked Text Record 88 Won / 58 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 2 Won / 0 Lost
Join Date: Oct 2010
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11-01-2013, 01:48 PM
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Good drop Punk!
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11-01-2013, 01:48 PM
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#6
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Good drop Punk!
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11-01-2013, 09:47 PM
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Mastr: I thought your imagery was dope, you painted the picture of everything that was going on, I felt like i was present, for example you went in depth on the baby dropping his ice cream etc, Your verse was also relevant to the topic.
Punk: I love the story telling, I was interested all the way, and you added little clever things which people can relate to like the rainy part and that when its pouring emotions start to show, I was feeling your verse all the way! and really enjoyed.
I gotta go with the one whose verse I enjoyed more.
Winner: Punk (Edged it both was dope, no hate)
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11-01-2013, 09:47 PM
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#7
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Mastr: I thought your imagery was dope, you painted the picture of everything that was going on, I felt like i was present, for example you went in depth on the baby dropping his ice cream etc, Your verse was also relevant to the topic.
Punk: I love the story telling, I was interested all the way, and you added little clever things which people can relate to like the rainy part and that when its pouring emotions start to show, I was feeling your verse all the way! and really enjoyed.
I gotta go with the one whose verse I enjoyed more.
Winner: Punk (Edged it both was dope, no hate)
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11-02-2013, 10:05 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 87
Mentioned: 25 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Ranked Audio Record 15 Won / 18 Lost
Ranked Text Record 263 Won / 123 Lost
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vote
Master: I really liked all the visual imagery in your verse, the scene was described very well. the narrative worked and tied into the concept. but I feel it could have been stronger as far as matching up with the topic of "follow your heart", I understand how your verse ties into this theme, although if i understand it right, the character didn't really follow their heart, but mostly ignored it. Your flow and vocabulary were good, the rhymes weren't super complex, but they flowed together nicely and had good imagery.
Punk: I feel like yours did a bit better job of matching the topic. the story had a main character who wanted to travel to a girl that he cared about, very directly following his heart. I really appreciate having a good twist at the end of a story, and I feel you did that well here. The imagery was good, possibly not quite as descriptive as your competitor, but the references to places and feelings worked out very well. your vocabulary was good, and the rhymes flowed together smoothly.
Overall: this battle was very close, both people had there strong points, I feel that one edged it a little bit by having a story that was a little more interesting and relevant to the topic. peace
Winner: Punk
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11-02-2013, 10:05 PM
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#8
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Ranked Text Record 263 Won / 123 Lost
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vote
Master: I really liked all the visual imagery in your verse, the scene was described very well. the narrative worked and tied into the concept. but I feel it could have been stronger as far as matching up with the topic of "follow your heart", I understand how your verse ties into this theme, although if i understand it right, the character didn't really follow their heart, but mostly ignored it. Your flow and vocabulary were good, the rhymes weren't super complex, but they flowed together nicely and had good imagery.
Punk: I feel like yours did a bit better job of matching the topic. the story had a main character who wanted to travel to a girl that he cared about, very directly following his heart. I really appreciate having a good twist at the end of a story, and I feel you did that well here. The imagery was good, possibly not quite as descriptive as your competitor, but the references to places and feelings worked out very well. your vocabulary was good, and the rhymes flowed together smoothly.
Overall: this battle was very close, both people had there strong points, I feel that one edged it a little bit by having a story that was a little more interesting and relevant to the topic. peace
Winner: Punk
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11-06-2013, 05:29 PM
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Plain and simple Punk was just on another level. You can really see his song writing skills show in this piece, it was beautiful. I digged MASTR's story as well. I really like the concept of a bomber s change of heart. But punk's flow, lyricism, story telling through the letter. It was in depth. It was heart felt. It was EXACTLY what I want to see in a good topical.
MVGT- Punk
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11-06-2013, 05:29 PM
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#9
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Plain and simple Punk was just on another level. You can really see his song writing skills show in this piece, it was beautiful. I digged MASTR's story as well. I really like the concept of a bomber s change of heart. But punk's flow, lyricism, story telling through the letter. It was in depth. It was heart felt. It was EXACTLY what I want to see in a good topical.
MVGT- Punk
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11-06-2013, 07:35 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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Ranked Text Record 89 Won / 54 Lost
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I really liked the story Mastr told but the way he told it was very basic. (Not that i could do any better but i still think it was a bit simplistic). Punks verse was really creative stylistically and i liked the story and the way he peppered in creative lines and imagery. Great job from both but i gotta give it to Punk.
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11-06-2013, 07:35 PM
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Ranked Text Record 89 Won / 54 Lost
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I really liked the story Mastr told but the way he told it was very basic. (Not that i could do any better but i still think it was a bit simplistic). Punks verse was really creative stylistically and i liked the story and the way he peppered in creative lines and imagery. Great job from both but i gotta give it to Punk.
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