ATT QF: Writer 5 Vs Writer 7 Vs Writer 2 - (Writer 2 Wins & Writer 7 Advances)

Writer 5 Vs Writer 7 Vs Writer 2

This topical is part of the Anonymous Topical Tournament

Rules
Verses are due Saturday, July 10th.
Verses are to be sent to EtH via Private Message.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 30-40 lines long.
In voting, 5 people will vote. The person with the most points after that wins.
1st = 2 Points, Second = 1 Point, Third = 0 Points.

Picture


EVERYONE READ!
This is a Triple Threat topical. The top two verses in this battle will go through to the semi finals. All voting should be done in a 1st, 2nd and 3rd format.

Writer 5 Vs Writer 7 Vs Writer 2

This topical is part of the Anonymous Topical Tournament

Rules
Verses are due Saturday, July 10th.
Verses are to be sent to EtH via Private Message.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 30-40 lines long.
In voting, 5 people will vote. The person with the most points after that wins.
1st = 2 Points, Second = 1 Point, Third = 0 Points.

Picture


EVERYONE READ!
This is a Triple Threat topical. The top two verses in this battle will go through to the semi finals. All voting should be done in a 1st, 2nd and 3rd format.

Writer 5

POV WRITING: THE ARTIST’S THOUGHT PROCESS WHILE CREATING THIS IMAGE.
I’m fucked, really I’d rather be dead,
This Indie band wants their album cover and I haven’t even started it yet.
Haven’t even started a sketch, nothing, zero, zip zilch, nada, none,
The deadline is tomorrow and I haven’t even begun.
Fuck, where do I start to begin forming this art?
Let’s begin with the bands name, they’re called “The Immortal Heart.”
What the fuck, what a stupid name, fuck these idiots,
Fuck their pretentious “Immortal Heart” bullshit, they can’t be serious.
O.K. I’m not getting anywhere, let’s think what do hipsters like?
I think they like tight jeans, irony and the night more than the light,
Or is that Emos. Or wait Screamos? What is the difference,
I don’t care about any of these morons I am feeling indifferent.
But it’s my job, I must finish it, no more procrastination,
Wait I’m feeling horny and my girlfriend is at work, I’ll rub out a quick masturbation.
Then I’ll begin for real. No! Stop you idiot, stop wasting time,
This is your fucking livelihood, this is your 9 to 5.
You depend on word of mouth customers so don’t fuck up,
Just create some bullshit picture for them and then that is enough.
Just draw something, anything decent, nothing less and nothing more,
So let’s think back – what exactly did they ask for?
If I recall it was “Something for the laborer and the common man.”
Common man? What are they some commie band from Commiestan?
O.K. a brilliant idea, let’s go on youtube and listen to their music,
Ahh this one is called “The Pain of Hatred” again they are fucking stupid.
God damn I hate these idiots, I mean listen to the lyrics,
“When The Pain Goes Away All That Is Left Behind Is The Spirit.”
I feel sick, I feel hungry I’ll go make a sandwich and be right back,
I mean how am I supposed to draw while distracted, just a quick snack.
O.K. I’ve got a plan, I’m going to draw something artistic,
Skeletons around the grave of a living person, I gotta channel my inner-autistic.
Let’s see we can draw them standing up and shit, laughing because it’s ironic,
This is just the kind of picture these people will like it’s completely moronic.
Fuck it that’s good enough, wait now I have to color it right?
No Fuck it I’ll leave it like that, tell them it was artistic to draw it black and white.
I’m feeling good about this bullshit, but if they don’t like then really I’m fucked,
I’ll email them the picture and hope that it is decent enough.

Vs

Writer 7





I can hear the silent whispers and see their violent scriptures
Only now I can see a vibrant picture and all my tyrant sisters
The one laughing is Bryant Wibsters, who’s a migrant fixture
He’s always drunk & a lyin tipster, he hated my quiet snickers

The bearded skeletons Father, he was a hellion and a scholar
Dad detested Feltons fodder; Felton’s job had him sellin lager
Felton’s the dwellin mobster; he’s short but still a rebellin boxer
He’s felon & squatter, in all honesty Felton’s a foretellin imposter

Mary and Chuck are both on the far right ready to bury this fuck
Because they both carried bucks like they were married to luck
I worked for Mary and trust that both weren’t scary ass drunks
I was wrong, both were dreary punks, & hated my merry plunge
NOW
I’m finally becoming Alive, HE HAS ARRIVED, I can see Billy
He’s the only human with eyes that are so divine, love just fills me
Now it’s our time, nothings denied and we both will seem filthy
Billy will be my prize, my soul intertwined like our dreams ability

I’m not gross nor dead, I was scorned to outlive any homestead
Life was bones & dread, now I adorn to outlive any of those dead
This coffin feels cold as lead, I’m born again, I lived alone instead
Now I’m warm as a bed, no more death, I owe it to Mama Joaness

She’s the one closest to my casket; she used her potions & magic
She allowed me to be motionless as molasses; I’m HOPIN that’s it
But I feel this hopeless drastic situation turns focused as graphics
My new life will be open and fantastic; Billy is my bonus and habit

Already all my skin has returned, my eyes are new just like my life
I have something to prove, I’ve learned a new disguise & it’s mine
Billy and I are ready to move, our times arrived, now we both shine
So all this death around me is proof, life is asinine unless you TRY!

This story is the truth, keep all this in mind, those around you are fake
Set your own example & rule, because in due time, it’s the life we make

Vs

Writer 2






Purgatory's Most Wanted

How I got to Purgatory!

I was ready locked and loaded with enough weapons to seize war
Grenades, Assault Rifles, Shotguns, and a couple crates packed with C-4
This killing spree will be the greatest of all time as I tumble down this wicked descent
Prepared to murder thousands at disney world's biggest event
My whole crew exits the vehicles, and begins rigging up the bombs
And I give a smirk to all the little children clinging to their moms
Suited up, with our weapons drawn we begin tearing families apart
Shredding bodies, exploding rides.. You can hear the beat of the countries heart
But within due time, I would be caught and killed by america's most profound agents
And became one of the sickest members of purgatory in the making

Purgatory

I wake up viewing just a wooden house and an uncovered horizon
With all kinds of evil characters crazy enough to live on shutter island
Walking next to the likes of Charles Albright, and Benjamin Atkins
and Little Iraqi children trying to deliver every person a package
Ted Bundy and Albert Fish having a feast in the home
Jeffery Dahmer picking the last bit of meat off the bone
And me, one of the most evil beings. This is the perfect wish
I plop my white ass next to the 'son of sam', David Berkowitz
After we ate, I continued to check out my new environment
I realized this was an evil and sickly insane retirement
I saw Dennis Rader and Gary Ridgway out in the back
Charles Mansan and Bin Ladin having a chat
I always thought the devil would punish us in the cruelest way
Even the Zodiac Killer was working with his crew of slaves
This was like heaven to me, but there had to be reason I'm immortal
So I walked up and decided to ask some questions to Dean Corll
Where are we? I thought for my murders I'd end up in satan's basement

"You are! But he keeps us together, the top ranked we are the devil's favorite
We live forever, and get to achieve every evil thing that we deserve
We are here to become the most sinister demons in the universe
This is a school for the insane, those with the most wicked brilliance
We are here to be prepared to become Lucifers' gifted children"

With that said, I continued to learn about my father's earth
To torture the world, possess and cause havoc among gods followers
After some time we were all ready for our departure back into the world
To tear the minds off men, and destroy the hearts of heaven's little girls
The next stage of our lives await, we are lucifers golden staff
So before we depart, Rodney Alcala snaps the greatest class photograph

Writer 5

POV WRITING: THE ARTIST’S THOUGHT PROCESS WHILE CREATING THIS IMAGE.
I’m fucked, really I’d rather be dead,
This Indie band wants their album cover and I haven’t even started it yet.
Haven’t even started a sketch, nothing, zero, zip zilch, nada, none,
The deadline is tomorrow and I haven’t even begun.
Fuck, where do I start to begin forming this art?
Let’s begin with the bands name, they’re called “The Immortal Heart.”
What the fuck, what a stupid name, fuck these idiots,
Fuck their pretentious “Immortal Heart” bullshit, they can’t be serious.
O.K. I’m not getting anywhere, let’s think what do hipsters like?
I think they like tight jeans, irony and the night more than the light,
Or is that Emos. Or wait Screamos? What is the difference,
I don’t care about any of these morons I am feeling indifferent.
But it’s my job, I must finish it, no more procrastination,
Wait I’m feeling horny and my girlfriend is at work, I’ll rub out a quick masturbation.
Then I’ll begin for real. No! Stop you idiot, stop wasting time,
This is your fucking livelihood, this is your 9 to 5.
You depend on word of mouth customers so don’t fuck up,
Just create some bullshit picture for them and then that is enough.
Just draw something, anything decent, nothing less and nothing more,
So let’s think back – what exactly did they ask for?
If I recall it was “Something for the laborer and the common man.”
Common man? What are they some commie band from Commiestan?
O.K. a brilliant idea, let’s go on youtube and listen to their music,
Ahh this one is called “The Pain of Hatred” again they are fucking stupid.
God damn I hate these idiots, I mean listen to the lyrics,
“When The Pain Goes Away All That Is Left Behind Is The Spirit.”
I feel sick, I feel hungry I’ll go make a sandwich and be right back,
I mean how am I supposed to draw while distracted, just a quick snack.
O.K. I’ve got a plan, I’m going to draw something artistic,
Skeletons around the grave of a living person, I gotta channel my inner-autistic.
Let’s see we can draw them standing up and shit, laughing because it’s ironic,
This is just the kind of picture these people will like it’s completely moronic.
Fuck it that’s good enough, wait now I have to color it right?
No Fuck it I’ll leave it like that, tell them it was artistic to draw it black and white.
I’m feeling good about this bullshit, but if they don’t like then really I’m fucked,
I’ll email them the picture and hope that it is decent enough.

Vs

Writer 7





I can hear the silent whispers and see their violent scriptures
Only now I can see a vibrant picture and all my tyrant sisters
The one laughing is Bryant Wibsters, who’s a migrant fixture
He’s always drunk & a lyin tipster, he hated my quiet snickers

The bearded skeletons Father, he was a hellion and a scholar
Dad detested Feltons fodder; Felton’s job had him sellin lager
Felton’s the dwellin mobster; he’s short but still a rebellin boxer
He’s felon & squatter, in all honesty Felton’s a foretellin imposter

Mary and Chuck are both on the far right ready to bury this fuck
Because they both carried bucks like they were married to luck
I worked for Mary and trust that both weren’t scary ass drunks
I was wrong, both were dreary punks, & hated my merry plunge
NOW
I’m finally becoming Alive, HE HAS ARRIVED, I can see Billy
He’s the only human with eyes that are so divine, love just fills me
Now it’s our time, nothings denied and we both will seem filthy
Billy will be my prize, my soul intertwined like our dreams ability

I’m not gross nor dead, I was scorned to outlive any homestead
Life was bones & dread, now I adorn to outlive any of those dead
This coffin feels cold as lead, I’m born again, I lived alone instead
Now I’m warm as a bed, no more death, I owe it to Mama Joaness

She’s the one closest to my casket; she used her potions & magic
She allowed me to be motionless as molasses; I’m HOPIN that’s it
But I feel this hopeless drastic situation turns focused as graphics
My new life will be open and fantastic; Billy is my bonus and habit

Already all my skin has returned, my eyes are new just like my life
I have something to prove, I’ve learned a new disguise & it’s mine
Billy and I are ready to move, our times arrived, now we both shine
So all this death around me is proof, life is asinine unless you TRY!

This story is the truth, keep all this in mind, those around you are fake
Set your own example & rule, because in due time, it’s the life we make

Vs

Writer 2






Purgatory's Most Wanted

How I got to Purgatory!

I was ready locked and loaded with enough weapons to seize war
Grenades, Assault Rifles, Shotguns, and a couple crates packed with C-4
This killing spree will be the greatest of all time as I tumble down this wicked descent
Prepared to murder thousands at disney world's biggest event
My whole crew exits the vehicles, and begins rigging up the bombs
And I give a smirk to all the little children clinging to their moms
Suited up, with our weapons drawn we begin tearing families apart
Shredding bodies, exploding rides.. You can hear the beat of the countries heart
But within due time, I would be caught and killed by america's most profound agents
And became one of the sickest members of purgatory in the making

Purgatory

I wake up viewing just a wooden house and an uncovered horizon
With all kinds of evil characters crazy enough to live on shutter island
Walking next to the likes of Charles Albright, and Benjamin Atkins
and Little Iraqi children trying to deliver every person a package
Ted Bundy and Albert Fish having a feast in the home
Jeffery Dahmer picking the last bit of meat off the bone
And me, one of the most evil beings. This is the perfect wish
I plop my white ass next to the 'son of sam', David Berkowitz
After we ate, I continued to check out my new environment
I realized this was an evil and sickly insane retirement
I saw Dennis Rader and Gary Ridgway out in the back
Charles Mansan and Bin Ladin having a chat
I always thought the devil would punish us in the cruelest way
Even the Zodiac Killer was working with his crew of slaves
This was like heaven to me, but there had to be reason I'm immortal
So I walked up and decided to ask some questions to Dean Corll
Where are we? I thought for my murders I'd end up in satan's basement

"You are! But he keeps us together, the top ranked we are the devil's favorite
We live forever, and get to achieve every evil thing that we deserve
We are here to become the most sinister demons in the universe
This is a school for the insane, those with the most wicked brilliance
We are here to be prepared to become Lucifers' gifted children"

With that said, I continued to learn about my father's earth
To torture the world, possess and cause havoc among gods followers
After some time we were all ready for our departure back into the world
To tear the minds off men, and destroy the hearts of heaven's little girls
The next stage of our lives await, we are lucifers golden staff
So before we depart, Rodney Alcala snaps the greatest class photograph

[Iron Mike]

1st place---Writer 7
2nd place---Writer 5
3rd place---Writer 2
The key factor to my ranking was mostly relevancy to the image, and then writing style/techniques. I felt Writer 7's piece was the most relevant, Writer 2's piece was the least relevant, and I enjoyed Writer 7's rigid style with internal schemes the most (reminds me of my own writing).

[Iron Mike]

1st place---Writer 7
2nd place---Writer 5
3rd place---Writer 2
The key factor to my ranking was mostly relevancy to the image, and then writing style/techniques. I felt Writer 7's piece was the most relevant, Writer 2's piece was the least relevant, and I enjoyed Writer 7's rigid style with internal schemes the most (reminds me of my own writing).

Writer 5, work on wording a bit more. I liked the idea but without a good set up with the right words can make it sound a little iffy as i try to read it out loud to myself. The story was pretty good, kinda got where you were going with your verse, not all the way sure yet... Writer 7 on the other hand had what i was looking for in the wording area. Story was pretty good throughout also. The only problem i really have with this is all the spacing.. It could be even better without it lol. Closer was nice as well just get a bit more creative with it. A closer suppose to be one of the best parts for a topical. Work on coming to that conclusion and ending it in a unique way.. Writer 2, your piece was kind've on-off at moments but you definitely showed creativity. As same as writer 5, keep everything consistent. Make it so where people want to come back for more as you all did but increase a person's feelings about a Topical..

MVGT:Writer 7
Second Place:Writer 2

Writer 5, work on wording a bit more. I liked the idea but without a good set up with the right words can make it sound a little iffy as i try to read it out loud to myself. The story was pretty good, kinda got where you were going with your verse, not all the way sure yet... Writer 7 on the other hand had what i was looking for in the wording area. Story was pretty good throughout also. The only problem i really have with this is all the spacing.. It could be even better without it lol. Closer was nice as well just get a bit more creative with it. A closer suppose to be one of the best parts for a topical. Work on coming to that conclusion and ending it in a unique way.. Writer 2, your piece was kind've on-off at moments but you definitely showed creativity. As same as writer 5, keep everything consistent. Make it so where people want to come back for more as you all did but increase a person's feelings about a Topical..

MVGT:Writer 7
Second Place:Writer 2

[Black Book]

Writer 5
This flowed very well and the direction you went in was creative. However, you sort of just rambled. All that happened in this piece is you sat there thinking about drawing a picture then you eventually did. There was no real point to it... No twist or anything. I mean it was decent but it was somewhat boring. You needed to add something to the story.

Writer 7
This was a good piece. You're rhyme schemes were very nice and you had a good flow. The story was a bit bland at the beginning as you were just describing people, but then it turned into something and got nice. You also showed off some good vocabulary here. A solid piece all-around, though.

Writer 2
This was a dope piece. The idea and execution was done well. Reminds me of my cypher Casa del Diablo a lot, though lol. A lot of the same characters and basically close to the same idea. I like the way you incorporated the picture, though. Your rhyme schemes and flows were on point, but nothing special and your vocabulary was just average. However, your story line was very nice.

1st Place: Writer 2

2nd Place: Writer 7

3rd Place: Writer 5

[Black Book]

Writer 5
This flowed very well and the direction you went in was creative. However, you sort of just rambled. All that happened in this piece is you sat there thinking about drawing a picture then you eventually did. There was no real point to it... No twist or anything. I mean it was decent but it was somewhat boring. You needed to add something to the story.

Writer 7
This was a good piece. You're rhyme schemes were very nice and you had a good flow. The story was a bit bland at the beginning as you were just describing people, but then it turned into something and got nice. You also showed off some good vocabulary here. A solid piece all-around, though.

Writer 2
This was a dope piece. The idea and execution was done well. Reminds me of my cypher Casa del Diablo a lot, though lol. A lot of the same characters and basically close to the same idea. I like the way you incorporated the picture, though. Your rhyme schemes and flows were on point, but nothing special and your vocabulary was just average. However, your story line was very nice.

1st Place: Writer 2

2nd Place: Writer 7

3rd Place: Writer 5

Writer 5, I have to first commend you for the originality of this. I would NEVER have thought of the twist you put onto the piece here, and it was really out there and something you will never really see again, so it was a great addition to this topical. I felt that your writing style was a bit on the weaker side here however. You didn't really bring any good choices of words, and as the piece progressed I felt that it was just getting repetitive. The rhyming was also below par to me, and that's okay when the piece warrants that kind of style, but here I felt some lyricism would def have picked it up.

Writer 7, I found the story a little hard to follow at times. What it would seem to me, is that the dead person is the protagonist. The woman with her potions and stuff has allowed the protagonist to enter Billy's body. They are canvasing around the other people, and deciding not to take their shape because of their flaws. This could be a complete wrong direction, but it's the kind of ideas I got. I loved the idea of picking out several characters and giving them backstories. I loved looking through who you were talking about and getting that idea in my head. The syllable count in some of the rhymes did throw me off a bit. I feel like one word rhyming would have fit in a bit better in these cases. In my head, I have already saved my syllable count. I feel that what flows well will be a rhyme that matches. When you have an extra bit in there or something, it makes me slightly stumble when reading, which can hurt the flow slightly.

Writer 2, I liked the idea here. I felt that it'd have been a downside to have them glorified, because the devil's purpose is to punish and HATE humans, but the idea of assembling a team to rebel seemed to work out quite well. I'd have liked to see a little bit more about the protagonist's plot and death. If he was so clever to get entered into this "purgatory", what was his mastermind plot? He just seemed to walk into Disneyland and what? Kill a bunch of people until he was gunned down? Going into a little bit of depth with his story would have been good to me. Another thing was the focus on naming serial killers or tyrants. I'm not too into that genre, so you should have really cooled it a bit after naming a few so the reader wouldn't feel like "Yeah, you know serial killers, we get it".

Overall, this is VERY hard to vote on. Neither really showed off with their writing styles, but all had very good ideas and executed them pretty well.

1. Writer 2
2. Writer 7
3. Writer 5

Writer 5, I have to first commend you for the originality of this. I would NEVER have thought of the twist you put onto the piece here, and it was really out there and something you will never really see again, so it was a great addition to this topical. I felt that your writing style was a bit on the weaker side here however. You didn't really bring any good choices of words, and as the piece progressed I felt that it was just getting repetitive. The rhyming was also below par to me, and that's okay when the piece warrants that kind of style, but here I felt some lyricism would def have picked it up.

Writer 7, I found the story a little hard to follow at times. What it would seem to me, is that the dead person is the protagonist. The woman with her potions and stuff has allowed the protagonist to enter Billy's body. They are canvasing around the other people, and deciding not to take their shape because of their flaws. This could be a complete wrong direction, but it's the kind of ideas I got. I loved the idea of picking out several characters and giving them backstories. I loved looking through who you were talking about and getting that idea in my head. The syllable count in some of the rhymes did throw me off a bit. I feel like one word rhyming would have fit in a bit better in these cases. In my head, I have already saved my syllable count. I feel that what flows well will be a rhyme that matches. When you have an extra bit in there or something, it makes me slightly stumble when reading, which can hurt the flow slightly.

Writer 2, I liked the idea here. I felt that it'd have been a downside to have them glorified, because the devil's purpose is to punish and HATE humans, but the idea of assembling a team to rebel seemed to work out quite well. I'd have liked to see a little bit more about the protagonist's plot and death. If he was so clever to get entered into this "purgatory", what was his mastermind plot? He just seemed to walk into Disneyland and what? Kill a bunch of people until he was gunned down? Going into a little bit of depth with his story would have been good to me. Another thing was the focus on naming serial killers or tyrants. I'm not too into that genre, so you should have really cooled it a bit after naming a few so the reader wouldn't feel like "Yeah, you know serial killers, we get it".

Overall, this is VERY hard to vote on. Neither really showed off with their writing styles, but all had very good ideas and executed them pretty well.

1. Writer 2
2. Writer 7
3. Writer 5

Ok, interesting battle here. I think each of these verse had something that the others lacked so the judging is a little difficult. Writer 5 had an interesting way of using the image and told an ok story, but the ending wasn't anything jarring or interesting, it just kind of puttered out. He also had the simplest rhyme and vocab of the group. Writer 7 had a cool scheme and some good vocab but I think his execution and story suffered while being bound to a more intricate rhyme scheme. The story was just kind of a description of the people in the picture and wasn't very engaging, but the flow and sound were nice. Writer 2 had the best story of the group but was the most loose with his inclusion of the picture in his verse.

My order goes like this in order from best verse down.

winner; writer 2. The story and flow were enough to overcome the relaxed interpretation of the picture, I thought this was the most engaging.

2nd place, writer 5. Although the rhyme was simple the story was a more coherent process to get through as a reader.

3rd place, writer 7. I liked the flow and sound, but as I said, I felt the verse as a hole was too married to the scheme and the overall delivery suffered because of it.

Ok, interesting battle here. I think each of these verse had something that the others lacked so the judging is a little difficult. Writer 5 had an interesting way of using the image and told an ok story, but the ending wasn't anything jarring or interesting, it just kind of puttered out. He also had the simplest rhyme and vocab of the group. Writer 7 had a cool scheme and some good vocab but I think his execution and story suffered while being bound to a more intricate rhyme scheme. The story was just kind of a description of the people in the picture and wasn't very engaging, but the flow and sound were nice. Writer 2 had the best story of the group but was the most loose with his inclusion of the picture in his verse.

My order goes like this in order from best verse down.

winner; writer 2. The story and flow were enough to overcome the relaxed interpretation of the picture, I thought this was the most engaging.

2nd place, writer 5. Although the rhyme was simple the story was a more coherent process to get through as a reader.

3rd place, writer 7. I liked the flow and sound, but as I said, I felt the verse as a hole was too married to the scheme and the overall delivery suffered because of it.

Writer 2: 7
Writer 7: 6
Writer 5: 2

Writer 2 & Writer 7 ADVANCE TO THE SEMI FINAL.

---------- Post added at 07:17 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:14 PM ----------

Writer 5: Zygote

Writer 2: 7
Writer 7: 6
Writer 5: 2

Writer 2 & Writer 7 ADVANCE TO THE SEMI FINAL.

---------- Post added at 07:17 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:14 PM ----------

Writer 5: Zygote

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